Pooh Jedi

Too much for Facebook

Wanted to put this on my wall since this is what happened to me this morning.

Nothing is worse than waking up in a pool of your own blood.

Thinking that it is a bit too TMI for FB land so live journal it is. Lol

But sheets are now clean. Bed remade. And work is cooperating. Plus the ibruprofern taking the pain in my tummy away. Man I forgot what this was like.
Pooh Jedi

It's Friday and I'm toast

I've been stressed. Like really stressed. So I'm organizing my worries and listing them here to get them out of my head so I can get through work.

Money. Broke, not receiving child support. Bills are paid at least

Madyson 15 credits short of graduating. Have a plan though. Praying that her anxiety lets up and she can tackle this monster.

Morgan applying for Orange Lutheran HS. She's going to get in and I can't pay for private school see "Money" above.

Stephen: I can't be the gladiator today. I don't have the energy or emotional stability to be the rock he needs today. But that's ok. I told him and he gets it. So not really stressful after I write it down. Thanks LJ

Work: too many projects. Conflict with a coworker. Boss... Don't get me started. Come on April!

I spent the last two nights hanging out at BH300. While I had fun, I feel emotionally drained....

I want to go hide in a hole and drown out the world with loud music and darkness.

Alas, I must live in the light. There.... See? I feel better already.
Pooh Jedi

Leaky eye saga continues

Well, yesterday i got the "let's leave it in for two more months" speech. Ho hum. As long as it doesn't irritate my eye then ok.

I have a crush on my surgeon! He is young, sarcastic as all get out, and a flirt! Too bad I don't get to see him for another two months. Guess that will give me a chance to figure out how to drop the "Hey, I'm single". Hahaha.

Coffee with Taylor went great. Good nerdy conversation about kids, video games, food, music, and our jobs. He could turn out to be a good friend. Defintely would fit nicely in with our group of nerds.

As for romantic possibility....maybe. Let's just say I didn't see a wolf in him anywhere.

My name is Mendy and I am addicted to attention and desire. Nice to meet you.

Pooh Jedi

Not in the mood

You know when you try to be someone's friend and they don't listen to your advice or think you know at all what you are talking about?

I just had that conversation. I told him exactly what he needed to do in order to feel better. Gave him multiple options to turn his world around. Made him write down what to ask his therapist for and what key words to use in order to get what he needs out of it. Granted I don't know if he actually wrote it down.

If he wants to live in a negative world then a negative world it will be.

He actually dropped some words that frightened me, I contacted one of his best buds to call him and check on him.

I want to retract my "Lets be friends". I don't need that kind of pressure and negative energy.

Now as i sit and wait at the doctor to get my shunt removed i will be excited about the coffee date i am going to later and no longer care for today.

In other news hurray! No more leaky eye!
Woot for kids with good grades!
And I got a ton of needed laundry done yesterday!

And now back to the bajillion texts I just received because hes mad i called in for back up. 

Pooh Jedi

Laying in bed praying for sleep

Should not have napped earlier.

How do you explain to someone that you were never 100% there? Although i dreamed of a future that was similar to yours, that it wasn't you that is meant to be there with me?

After 8 months you think you know me? Sure you know part of me. The part i allowed you to see. You miss me. But i didn' t allow the whole me out. And to be brutally honest, if that was the whole you, then I'm glad I said goodbye.

Anger aside, I'm not ready for a relationship. I found with you I had no patience, I'm too superficial, I'm selfish, and protective of my life choices, even my mistakes. After all, my mistakes are what brought me here.

Bottom line is I talked about it, prayed about it, and even slept on it, and at the end I was sure letting you go was the best thing for my family.

Pooh Jedi

Break Time

I love when IT has to work on my computer for a bit. It means I have an excuse for playing on my phone. :-)

Bad part is that I have a project that was due two days ago. So who has two thumbs and is working on Saturday? This girl! Oh well. At least Zeus and I will have the house to ourselves. I can blare music and do my thing. I kinda like mornings like that.